Before we wake up, we live out of our patterns. It's just the way it is. We can't be present in our patterns because our patterns don't hold presence. The only thing we can do is to try and change our patterns.
Our self identity is itself a pattern. We say "I am this," or "I am that," and "If you are loving and wise, you would be like this - You would sing this song, say this thing, love like I do, etc." It is only when we become present to a truth or a love greater than ourselves that we realize truth and love are the same.
Enlightenment is often referred to as "waking up." This is because, until we awaken, we can only live our fantasy, or dream, of life. Sometimes it's pleasant, and sometimes it is a nightmare.
Lucid dreaming is the ability to know you're dreaming while you're dreaming. A lucid dreamer is able to go to sleep at night, and wake up within his or her dream. Once lucid, you can explore and even change elements of the dream. There is a part of you that knows you are not your dream.
Enlightenment is often referred to as "waking up." This is because until we awaken we can only live our fantasy, or dream, of life. When we "awaken," we begin to have a lucid relationship within the dream of our own reality. We can explore our own dreams of our sense of self, our beliefs, attitudes, fears, and additions, without identifying with them because the "lucid" part of us knows that we are not all we dream ourselves to be. And, we gain the ability to change what we wish.
Given a choice, no one would choose suffering. True Love is freedom from suffering. It is also the consciousness that gives birth to life. It is the field of consciousness that is the most connected, safe, and affirming to our True Self. Given a choice, the Lucid Self will always be drawn to it. It is the field of greatest happiness.
The Lucid Self can be present to our suffering, realize how our behavior, beliefs, etc., are causing it, and can choose to make a change toward aligning our behavior with True Love instead. It knows the changes to make because it, itself, is sourced in True Love (we are created in the image and likeness of God). This is the true meaning of Self Referenced. When we live in Love, we create from Love, and we live in right relationship with Love.